We were made for heaven, my friends...  C.S. Lewis said it this way: “If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world” ..... and he also said something I find reverberating in my experiences that draw me ever closer to God: “God whispers in our pleasures, but shouts in our pain.” ....... and when we cling to God, it is where we grow.  

We are being enriched in spirit as we await our ultimate hope and true destination; eternity with our Lord and Savior, Lover of our Soul, Creator, Provider, Healer, and Sustainer.


Jeremiah 29:11;13
‎"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with your whole heart."


II Corinthians 4:17-18
 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 

Jesus, help me to fix my eyes on you, and not be discouraged or distracted by things temporal; physical pain and dysfunction in my body, emotional hurt and heartache, attacks by others, fear and worry, failure, confusion and doubt, pleasure and fame, success, possessions, busy-ness, entertainment, money, ego... remind me daily of the weight of your glory.

Much of the following are excerpts from exchanges I have shared with a friend... encouragements I humbly offered in hopes of uplifting and connecting with her in faith and in love...  I believe God has used many of these exchanges to strengthen and reinforce my own faith while speaking to me, personally, about the struggles I find myself going through, and how He is using it all to refine me and build my faith, to show me how to love even more deeply... so that I can offer His precious Love and Acceptance and Hope to others. My friends, our Father has Plans for us!   *HOPE* and a *FUTURE*... ~WHOLENESS!~




 The other day I did the coolest thing at the beach. Went out on a stand-up paddleboard past the waves of the ocean and enjoyed God's amazing creation and the gift of movement and balance and strength in my body, doing yoga at sunrise, can you believe that?! I almost can't. After I came back home I endured a severe migraine for the remainder of the day, vomiting throughout the day, flinching at light and sound, just miserable. I hate that freaking devil! Trying to discourage me from living the gift of LIFE my Heavenly Father has given me!

 **Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.** 


We experience things in the flesh, we try to figure out how to fit it into a cause and effect justification so that we see reason, but there is so much more going on here, a battle for your soul. Just know, that each integral piece of the puzzle along the path of your life has God written into it and is being used to bring you into deep relationship with Him and ultimately for His glory.


 I too have dealt with things I don't understand, nor why I must deal with them. For the last decade about I have had severe back pain as a part of my life and since moving to Florida and living here commuting about 2 hours a day (to and from work) has not improved the situation. When I first arrived here I acquired (as the doctor called it, after first mis-diagnosing as something less major, giving me little reason to take time off work to recover, and thereby elongating the treatment and recovery period) a 'whopping case of mono,' which I dealt with Jason and my entire engagement and on into the beginning of our marriage... I've still not gained back a normal amount of energy since, and it has reactivated periodically. Previous to moving here I endured two cases of kidney stones, about 3 years apart. Once I was finally able to get an MRI after moving here I discovered some of the source of my back pain being 2 bulging discs in the lowest part of my spine/sacrum. Well once I experienced yoga I realized it was one of the only times in my day I wasn't in pain... when I was doing yoga and for some time following. Yoga can have some very non-godly facets to it if someone is to get caught up in the Buddhist, Hindu, and mystical spiritual explorations that are often perpetuated in the traditions of Yoga... and so I seriously struggled with committing to the training for my certification as an instructor... but relying on God and my desire to reflect His love and grace and healing... I have chosen to pursue this new area of my life and bring Light into a world of darkness, helping people to find wellness, but from the Source of true wellness- mind, body, spirit.   Focusing on breath is something I had never really done.... that in itself can be such a healing process for us, relieving stress, oxygenating the blood and body and brain, lowering the blood pressure and calming body, mind, and spirit, allowing clearer thinking and rest for a busy mind... really so many benefits. The postures can be geared for fitness or even restoration... we are just moving the bodies God gave us in full ranges of motion, strengthening, stretching, balancing, keeping ourselves in good condition... maintenance for our whole being. It has been so amazing, especially anticipating where God will take me in order to draw people to Him and bless their lives. Well, I have had problems also in the last few years with my hips, sacrum, S.I. Joints, getting torqued and twisted, unlevel and out of alignment regularly and not having a clue why...People don't see it, I don't walk crooked... but I feel so twisted up and consequently in pain often. Today I came from the chiropractor after having taken two seperate MRI's of my hips and pelvis and he explained a few things and then referred me on to an oncologist for a cyst in the cap of my left hip joint and 'benign' osteoid osteoma spotted on my right hip/Sacroiliac joint which is possibly a source of the pain I have in that region. Just as you said, on days when you are doubted for your 'invisible pain' you are thankful for the tremor.... my heart ached for you when I read that, but my heart also felt as though it was in stride with your thought process, as from all outward appearances I am perceived as 'fine,' but deal with so much more than people know and wonder if they even believe my plight. When I think of my family, first and foremost I wish I were near them as I go through junk like this... but then I also wonder, have any of them had so many health problems as I seem to find myself enduring? Not that I know of!?..(perhaps if so, I couldn't tell, just as is the case with myself...?)... of course there lingers the "why me?" question, I am human after all... I know God will use all that I am going through though, for my growth, and ultimately for His glory.... perhaps to be a testimony as I practice and teach yoga, even in the midst of all this pain and dysfunction in my body, for others to see hope and find His amazing love through the gift of healing, health, and wellness....? 


***Before I went paddleboarding tonight the rest of my day was filled with a painful stiff/sore neck I've had for the past two days, back/hip pain, questions of why, tears, and precious hugs and tender words from my husband. I'm not sure why I ended up deciding to load this all on you... except to support you in *Hope*... and to ask for your support also, because I know you have great faith and love. I will be praying fervently for you... I want you to be well and to experience God's peace, which surpasses ALL understanding! even despite MRI's and nutritional tests!... But not just peace in your mind and spirit, but peace in your body.***


II Corinthians 4:6-9
For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.  But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

Philippians 4:7

...and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Imperfect People.
... I do not know the nature of the interactions you speak of, which sound as though they are causing difficulty and aggravation- understandably, but whether someone extends kindness to you or belligerence, temptation or trust, good or evil... may God give you strength to stay firm on your path; honest, full of integrity, and compassionate.  A shining example of God's grace and mercy, living uprightly, while understanding your dependence, as well as theirs, on He who IS perfect.


I once had a boss... one I would have told you was a great boss, a Christian, who seemed trustworthy. A kind and supportive boss who was married, and one day shockingly began to uncover his 'feelings' for me.... shy little unassuming me. Freaked me out of my mind... I remember bawling on my brother's lap for hours out of not having a clue how to deal with the disaster and dismay, how to respect my 'boss' and move on. Would have to face him everyday at work. Took the situation to my pastor to figure out how to deal with it.... did NOT see that one coming. I was absolutely disgusted at him and so disturbed. I had no idea how to compose myself and face him, face others with the knowledge I now had.  Paranoia and utter turmoil churned inside, UGH!*#@.  I returned his 'letter' unread and still sealed, stunned, and had given him a straightforward, "NO."  But I wanted to do more than that.  I wanted to tell him I was disgusted by the inappropriate and uninvited situation... by him!... Secretly, I wanted to smear him... 'it would serve him right if this was revealed,' I thought. I felt so offended and violated.  I wondered if his wife had any suspicion, and how she would feel if she'd known he was already 'mentally and emotionally unfaithful,' allowing himself to go so far as to put his family in jeopardy like that!  But truly I didn't want to be involved at all, and I was right there, somehow, in the middle of it!  He'd destroyed my trust.  He'd put me in a terrible position.   I questioned what role I had played in giving him any kind of impression that I would be okay with that?!?!!.... I'd only listened as he talked about his grandmother who was very sick, and brief casual conversations here and there which I comfortably passed off as fellow Christian/friendly/encouraging encounters... It took some serious time and healing before I felt he was worthy of my forgiveness, as though I were the one to judge that, (although I should have forgiven him long before, as it only tore me up more and kept me prisoner the longer I held onto the injury; the fact that I had been wronged)... I continued to work there, but I eventually asked to talk with him to let him know that I was applying elsewhere and more importantly that I forgave him, yes I told him to his face because I felt he must know I had not forgiven him up until then. He apologized in shame. I was offered a job elsewhere, but did not take it.  I continued to work in the same job for another year... during which I met Jason, my wonderful husband, online... and began the most amazing journey in love and life... I cannot tell you of that former boss' current state or relationship with his wife or the Lord... I pray it is all as it should be. I do not know what all he was undergoing at the time, but it is apparent that something big was amiss.  I hope that God used me to bring him back to a realization of honesty and integrity with himself, his wife, and his Savior.
.....I had to keep being who I knew I was.... but become more refined along the way... stronger in my walk with God as I endured trials. Even though it seems my boss would have been the obvious candidate for refinement and mercy and forgiveness, this presented itself as a very valuable trial for ME... I began seeking God more intently, my faith was built up, my convictions deepened, my need for learning to extend forgiveness was revealed to me in a very humbling way.  This may seem far from the type of trial you are enduring, but know that you are being refined, my friend. And remember, we walk by faith and not by sight...


I Peter 1:6-7
["Come now you may greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if must be, you are in heaviness through a myriad of temptations:  That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perishes, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Yeshua the Messiah."]

II Corinthians 5:7
For we walk by faith, not by sight.


Be Refined...  [a story by an unknown author]
Some time ago, a few ladies met in a certain city to read the scriptures, and make them the subject of conversation. While reading the third chapter of Malachi they came upon a remarkable expression in the third verse: "And He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." One lady's opinion was that is was intended to convey the view of the sanctifying influence of the grace of Christ. Then she proposed to visit a silversmith and report to them what he said on the subject.

She went accordingly and without telling the object of her errand, begged to know the process of refining silver, which he fully described to her. "But Sir" she said, "do you sit while the work of refining is going on?" "Oh, yes, madam," replied the silversmith; "I must sit with my eye steadily fixed on the furnace, for if the time necessary for refining be exceeded in the slightest degree, the silver will be injured."

The lady at once saw the beauty, and comfort too, of the expression, "He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." Christ sees it needful to put His children into a furnace; His eye is steadily intent on the work of purifying, and His wisdom and love are both engaged in the best manner for them. Their trials do not come at random; "the very hairs of your head are all numbered."

As the lady was leaving the shop, the silversmith called her back, and said he had forgotten to mention that the only way that he knows when the process of purifying is complete when he sees his own image reflected in the silver....

--Author Unknown




1 Corinthians 13:12
[Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. ]


.....When we are faced with the unrighteousness of this world, we are given the opportunity to be a reflection of God's grace and mercy, His light and love, His righteousness... if we respond, through our faith, by His grace, in love and integrity, then we can release the outcome to God, we have planted a seed. It does not mean that seed will miraculously be an enormous oak tomorrow or even next month... That seed may not even grow if it gets no further nourishment, however, we have allowed ourselves to be an extension of God's hand as He begins a new work in the life of one of His precious children. I KNOW I want to be a partner for His good work... even if I don't feel the benefits from it. You never really see the whole picture (until "then"... when we are finally with our Maker). People are so hungry for something many of them have no clue is actually total acceptance and love... and can be found only in relationship with our Maker. They often are misguided in their outward expression, but deeply in need of that connection... running into you may seem inconsequential to them and even to you, but perhaps it will be the only time they feel a sense of connection and acceptance, as you receive them without question and treat them as a child of God, with kindness and warmth, compassion and patience.
Whatever aggravation or difficulty they may cause you, continue to strive toward God, and His righteousness. 


Matthew 5:10-
[“Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.] 


... but also remember that it is not works that are redeeming us, but relying on the grace that was shown us when Christ paid the debt of our sin. Yours, mine, and theirs... Be diligent to shine His light and show His grace whenever possible.....it all comes back to the fact that we really don't know the depths of everything we are faced with, nor are we aware of the intricate details of another's life.


Titus 3:5
...not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit,


Galatians 2:16
...knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law but by faith in Jesus Christ...


thoughts from my friend:
[...C.S. Lewis letters in "A Severe Mercy" and was overwhelmed with awe at the point he mentions that we, as humans, are not surprised when we get hungry. We know we will always need to eat and if we woke up hungry tomorrow it wouldn't be a shock. However, we are constantly surprised by time and how fast time goes. He says that maybe we are not meant to be temporal beings. The time that we know is not of this world. ]


wow. so true. It so fits with another quote of his I love- "You don't have a soul. You ARE a soul. You have a body." We get so caught up in this envelope of ours, when we are just enclosed in it, it is merely our shell... Our soul will go on, and that is why we feel like time is so fleeting!... temporal, yes. We are on a time scale from another realm! C.S. Lewis is so amazing. I could sit listening to his wisdom and contemplating life and God in endless conversation with him, I think.


I am always trying to strengthen certain areas of my body to try and offset the apparent imbalance and/or weakness causing dysfunction... and stretch and release chronically contracted muscles possibly torquing those foundation joints -the hips/pelvic girdle/low back... maybe it's ligaments that are too lax letting things fall out of place repeatedly?... I don't know, and it's frustrating.  I've gained a lot of ground since finding a low impact way to keep my body moving and in working condition, also relieve some stress that has tended to perpetuate due to the chronic pain I've been enduring... but daily, some level of pain remains, and it's a nasty cycle- the pain causing the stress of how to deal with it, then causing more pain because of the detrimental effect of the stress, more tension more pain and so on.... I still ache for complete 'correctness' in my body, balance and restoration to proper functioning... and even though I still feel far from it, I still hope for that... I will continue to pray for it, even though I don't understand the why's or the when's or even the how's... God is great. He will give me wisdom. He will bless me with strength. He will never leave me, nor forsake me. You know, this earth is not our home. As much as it is how we see things and feel things... we suffer because it is an imperfect place. I cannot wait to be with my Heavenly Father, in Wholeness, incorruptible and pain free.... in His arms of perfection and grace and comfort and love and peace. It is hard to fathom it, as well as how some of the things/people in this world that we love and cherish will be so overshadowed by immensely better everything!...




I Corinthians 15:52
..in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.

Ephesians 2:10 

For we are His workmanship[His *Masterpiece*], created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.